Thanks to everyone who offered me help updating my resume and such. Unfortunately, I just found out that the job I was hoping for has no interest in me due to my (lack of) academic qualifications. So it’s back to square one. Luckily, square one currently means “a job that pays well with good benefits and four weeks of vacation”, so it’s not terrible.
The thing is, from the get-go I had a feeling that this was going to be the case, but I foolishly let myself get my hopes up. I’m usually a little better at being cynical and realistic.