So I know you are down with .
But there’s also a thread on Windyhop called “The Geek World”.
I am posted some of the best conversations from that thread here. The ones that are the funniest as well as the ones that you don’t have to be a Windyhopper to “get”.
Trapper: freakin linux
Trapper: Its sports a USB 1.1?
Trapper: See how gay linux is? Can’t even run USB 2.0
Mugsy: plus it has that rainbow-colored startup screen…
Mugsy: and I swear that KDE 1.2 has Tux in chaps on the desktop
Trapper: I bet Microsoft… created linux…. Linus Torvalds was the first robot powered by linux…
Trapper: and then, when linux overtakes microsoft, they will raise the curtain and send out a big FU to all the linux geeks…
Mugsy: and all will be laid to burnination
lindydallas: uhoh–the experimentalists on my floor are playing with the fusebox.
lindydallas: My computer could go off at any moment.
mugsy1274: dorks
mugsy1274: so much for that legendary linux uptime
lindydallas: It’s gonna be like the old days in here soon–doing computing by candlelight.
mugsy1274: uh…dallas?
lindydallas: yes?
lindydallas: movin’ the electrons around by hand…
mugsy1274: hehhee
lindydallas: gettin’ in, and throwin’ tha switches…
lindydallas: yeah…
mugsy1274: picking up packets, bringing them downstairs manually…
lindydallas: Why, my great-grandfather used to be a packet handler for international business machines, back in the day.
lindydallas: They say he could bring a packet down 10 flights of stairs in just thirty seconds!
lindydallas: This was before elevators worked as fast as they do now, mind you.
lindydallas: He was a legend.
lindydallas: Worked till the day he died.
lindydallas: The young guys used to tell him that one day machines would do his job, and he just laughed.
lindydallas: How could a machine know where to take the packets, or run down the stairs?
lindydallas: It seemed ludicrous.
lindydallas: If he only knew…
lindydallas: And…. I’m done.
zeroxoneb: mkdir ~/src/tmp
lindydallas: Yes.
zeroxoneb: ****
zeroxoneb: wrong window
lindydallas: Mkdir away.
lindydallas: hehe
zeroxoneb: good thing i got “mkdir ~/pixmaps/kiddieporn” in the right window
lindydallas: That’s what I keep telling mugsy every time I see XP.
lindydallas: “It looks like candy”
mugsy1274: so 60 + 15 + 10
mugsy1274: 75
mugsy1274: right?
lindydallas: Uh… 85.
mugsy1274: oh that too
lindydallas: You just do network support, right?
mugsy1274: yes…the only math I know is powers of 8
mugsy1274: I don’t reboot my computer on a daily or weekly basis, fyi
lindydallas: hourly?
lindydallas: I’m so sorry.
lindydallas: how do you get any work done with your finger constantly on the reboot button?
mugsy1274: I type fast
lindydallas: and one handed, apparently
Mugsy: you’re a freak
Dallas: Indeed… but a freak with a running operating system.
Mugsy: ok freakboy…how much you gettin’ paid to play wit’ yo’ linux?
Dallas: A DOLLAR.
Dallas: Wait… a DOLLAR FIDDY.
Dallas: Because I’m GOOD.
Dallas:
Mugsy: I choose to use microsoft not because I believe in their superiority…but because I can make the benjamins
Dallas: Your soul is worth that little, eh?
Mugsy: ****, beeyatch…if I worked supportin’ a stable operatin’ system, I’d never have shiznit to do, and wouldn’t get mah green on…
Dallas: Okay… I’ll give you that.
lindydallas: I {heart} the gimp.
mugsy1274: you should make your own open source mod of the gimp called the pimp
lindydallas: heehee
lindydallas: It would be easy…
lindydallas: Gimp stands for GNU Image Manipulation Program…
lindydallas: so it would be Pimp Image Manip. Program
mugsy1274: Or …
mugsy1274: Pinup Image Manip Program
lindydallas: heehee
lindydallas: I need to think of a modification to add.
mugsy1274: use The PIMP to make your own fake celeb porn!
lindydallas:
lindydallas: L O L
lindydallas: Need a “nekkidfy” option.
Trapper: i thought Unix and Java were made for each other…
Trapper: open source and all that ****…
Trapper: I feel like I am trying to mate a horse with a beetle
Dallas: linux doesn’t really “support” quicktime, so I know little about it.
Mugsy: that’s because you’re gay
Dallas: Well, my sexual orientation has little to do with my choice of an OS
Dallas: Or… does it?
Mugsy: www.linuxqueer.com
Dallas: That should be .org
Mugsy: like a precision workstation, 1.0GB processor, 256 MB ram, 40 gb hdd…$871
MisterC: 1.0GB processor?
MisterC: wtf is that?
Mugsy: it’s a one gigabyte processor
Mugsy: HUGE frontside cache on that mother****er
MisterC: ****er. almost made me shoot Pepsi out of my nose
MissKitty: i can forward you some stuff now
MissKitty: if my connection will stop being stupid, that is…
Mugsy: you need to set the parameter correctly…change it to CONNECTION.STUPID = FALSE
MissKitty: though, since i’m on the web publishing portion of my html training, i know several options for WHY my connection could be stupid
MissKitty: my guess is that it is a stupid server
MissKitty: here at the university, we have two kinds of servers: stupid and stupidfey
MissKitty: normally, i am on a stupidfey server
MissKitty: this means i can typically access anything i want in a decent amount of time, but it may shut me out for no reason whenever it feels like it
MissKitty: apparently, today i have been switched over to the stupid server which was made in 1972 and is powered by turtles
Mugsy: they just released the newest version of gopher server
MisterC: hehe “Furry Terror”
Mugsy: we should create our own hierarchical information protocol
Mugsy: hamster://
…
MisterC: stupid gay ****ing websphere
MisterC: websphere shall feel my Furry Terror!
Mugsy: gophersphere!
…
MisterC: my machine is currently using 1,312,572,809 kb of memory
Mugsy: your machine sucks
Mugsy: if you were programming a site using gopher, you would not have such problems
Dallas: Man, ever since they did the OS upgrade on my linux machine, that thing goes down almost as much as a windoze box.
Dallas: Well, once a week… but still. That’s a lot.
Dallas: Cheap POS.
Mugsy: what have I been telling you? linux sux.
Mugsy: it just sux in an open, free way
Felicia: WHY does my switch have 5 ports if I can only use 4 of them? WHY? Moronic piece of ****!
Mugsy: one port is an uplink
Felicia: you’d think then they’d make all the ports functional though. It’s like having an extra cigarette lighter in your car that only works if the other one isn’t in use.
Mugsy: nope, not at all
Mugsy: it’s like expecting your cigarette lighter in your car to work as the dome light, since you don’t use a cigarette lighter
Mugsy: you know all those little icons down on the right by the clock? those are all programs running
Mugsy: and they get lonely when you don’t use the computer, so they connect to the internet to talk to their friends
Tracy: i would believe you if i didn’t think you were an idiot
Dallas: I’m running mozilla now (no more netscape)
Dallas: It’s nice.
Mugsy: good for you
Mugsy: will you be powering your computer with your sense of self-satisfaction?
Dallas: _Everyone_ knows that unix is INDESTRUCTIBLE!
Dallas: Yes!
Dallas: That’s it!
Dallas: It’s so hard to use that NO ONE can figure out how to break it, much less make it do something useful.
Dallas: I would like to know if namesecure does anything stupid…
Dallas: like send me mass emailings after I register
Dallas: or put popups when they forward, etc.
Dallas: How would I check something like that?
Mugsy: talk to someone who uses it
Mugsy: they don’t exactly advertise it
Mugsy: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Mugsy: Does NameSecure annoy me with spam and popup ads?
Mugsy: At NameSecure, we consider spam emails to be a “value-added” service we provide at NO ADDITIONAL COST to you, the customer! Plus, the addition of popup ads on your forwarded URL make you look like a REAL e-commerce website that has had to resort to advertising to maintain a revenue stream!
Dallas: You’re ****in’ KIDDING me.
Trapper: java objects keep leaking and sucking up all the available Ram and crashing the box
Trapper: for absolutely no good reason
Mugsy: see? Java literally sucks.
Trapper: it really does… why java people can’t see this, I’ll never know
Dallas: I could take a job as a UNIX Instructor!
Mugsy: unix is teachable?
Trapper: So here is another thing that pisses me off…
Trapper: Why is it that EVERY TIME someone figures out how to run linux on something, all the linux F*ckheads have to say how they need to run out and buy one.
Trapper: linux geek1: “I got linux running on my xbox”
Trapper: linux geek2: “I hate microsoft, but I guess I should go buy an xbox now!!!!”
Trapper: linux geek3: “Can I wack off while I watch you run linux on your xbox?”
Trapper: linux geek4: “me too! me too!”
Trapper: linux geek2: “I only buy american made cars… but if someone got linux running on their Honda Civic I would buy one in a second! And then rice it all out like Vin Desiel in that one movie with cool cars”
Trapper: linux geek4: “me too! me too!”
Trapper: linux geek3: “Can I wack off while I watch you run linux on your Honda Civic?”
Dallas: HAHA…. I just got the best alert message from mozilla.
Mugsy: “WARNING: You are running low on self-satisfaction. Please save your work, and post on Slashdot as soon as possible.”
Trapper: right now I am getting ready to join the millions of people in celebration of Black friday
Mugsy: gettin’ yer shoppin’ on?
Mugsy: dude, that’s what the internet is for
Trapper: so depending on whether or not I survive the terrorist attacks… we’ll see
Trapper: there is just something about being out there though… in the trenches
Mugsy: you make me sad
Mugsy: turn in your geekbadge
Trapper: dude… don’t judge me… I have already done 80% of my shopping online… we are just going downtown to see the lights and the people and the stores and sip our cappucinos and celebrate the consumerism that makes america grand.
Mugsy: ok, you don’t have to resign
Mugsy: but we’ll be watching you
Trapper: thank you
Trapper: you will be watching me with spyware?
Mugsy: try to at least work the word “elite” into your conversation today
Dallas: In unix, we don’t “name” our drives. That’s for people who can’t remember what they were doing.
Dallas: If you can’t remember /mnt/hda/, then you got issues.
Dallas: Man, so Devon gave me her palm IIIxe…
Mugsy: yah?
Dallas: I’m going crazy throwing **** on it.
Mugsy: did you install linux on it yet?
Dallas: You’ll probably laugh…
Mugsy: you did
Mugsy: NERD!
Dallas: but I’ve got my eye open for a stable linux port.
Dallas: Nah, I’m still using palmos.
Dallas: though I did patch it.
Dallas: and put in a graphing calculator application
Dallas: and a game
Mugsy: which game?
Mugsy: “manually masturbate linus torvolds”?
Dallas: I don’t understand why the vending machines don’t have power.
Mugsy: do they run linux too?
Dallas: No, but the hotdog vendor does.
Dallas: That’s why *he* had chips.