Shanabanana: so do I have to sleep with you to win WH idol?
Mugsy: it couldn’t hurt
Shanabanana: I think I’d need a guarantee
Mugsy: how soon do you need the guarantee?
Mugsy: I have my legal staff working on it.
OK…the legal minds at Windyhop Idol have put together the following contract:
This Agreement, made this 22nd day of August, 2002, between the party of the first part, Mugsy Malone (hereinafter called Judge) and the party of the second part, Shanabana (hereinafter called Contestant);
WITNESSETH:
In consideration of the mutual covenants and agreements herein contained, Judge and Contestant herby agree as follows:
Contestant hereby agrees to perform sexual intercourse, as defined in addendum 1 to be found at the terminal end of this contract, with Judge. Upon completetion of aforementioned consideration Judge will confer benefits to Contestant as enumerated in paragraph 2.
Judge hereby bestows and conveys, and Contestant hereby receives and assumes the following described benefits:
(a) The title of Windyhop Idol; and
(b) All benefits associated with that title, including but not limited to: a special status of Windyhop Idol; a special Icon designating the Contestant as the Windyhop Idol; bragging rights; the abilities to shun others lacking W factor. This list is merely intended to be illustrative and not exhaustive.
Representation of the Parties:
Contestant and Judge warrant and represent to each other that each of the parties has previously taken the necessary action authorizing the execution of this Instrument by the parties involved hereto.
In witness whereof, Contestant and Judge have caused this Instrument to be executed by the aforementioned parties, all as of the day and year first above written.
ADDENDUM:
Definition of terms:
(1) Sexual Intercourse: sexual coitus.
DEMAND FOR ASSURANCE. CONTESTANT’S PERFORMANCE.
Judge requires adequate assurance that you will provide proper performance as required under the terms of the contract dated, the 22nd day of August, 2002, in which you, Contestant, agreed to have sexual intercourse with Mugsy Malone, Judge in exchange for bestowal of the Windyhop Idol title.
As assurance of your proper performance it is requested by the Party of the first part (Judge) that you, as the party of the second part
(Contestant) furnish fellatio in advance of any sexual intercourse.
Failure to comply by the party of the second part will rendered the above-referenced contract null and void.