Thanks a lot, Jess…

Posted on Wednesday, Apr 24, 2002

Name: Matthew Todd Stratton

Height: 5’10”

Weight: Thirteen stone

Eyes: Brownish hazel.

Lips: Two of ’em.

Hair: Brown.

Nails: Twenty

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius, with almost everything in the Tenth House. I have no idea what that means.

Birthday: Dec 7. Pearl Harbor Day.

Actor/Actress: John Cusack/Parker Posey

Animal/Insect: Rough and tumble dogs/Insects ARE animals, duh.

Athletes: Professional shuffleboarders. That shit is TIGHT!

Book: Current – Feature Filmmaking At Used-Car Prices by Rick Schmidt

Candy: Mike and Ike, Twizzlers, orange slices

Cartoon: The Simpsons. Or Family Guy.

Cereal: Anything with no redeeming social value whatsover (such as Cap’n Crunch). That’s why I have bagels for breakfast. They should make a bagel cereal.

Chewing Gum: I don’t chew gum. But I like that Fruit Stripe gum.

Color: Red. Or black. Or both together!

Day of Week: Tomorrow.

Least fave day: Today

Drink (Alcoholic): Stoli Vanilla and Coke. Or Stoli Raspberry and cranberry. Yeah. I’m a pussy. Wanna make something of it?

Fabric: Leather

Food: Sushi

Fruit: Grapes

Holiday: Thanksgiving (you gotta love a holiday dedicated to GREAT food). Or Halloween (my roommates and I throw a KILLER party).

Hour of Day: 10:00 PM

Ice Cream: Cookie dough, Phish Food, Heath toffee crunch

Music: Jazz, 80’s New Wave, The Who, and the occassional gangsta rap. But only if the mood strikes me. Or Dallas is in the car.

Number: 74

Perfume/Cologne: Avatar. I’ve gotten rave reviews.

Place/Town: Chicago, baby. Place? My rooftop deck.

Restaurant Chain: Portillos

School Subject: Theater or English.

Season: Spring

Shampoo: Whatever’s on sale. I like that Aussie shit though. It makes me smell like a rainbow!

Shapes: Boobs (this is the silliest question I’ve ever heard. And therefore, it gets a silly answer.)

Song: “Divorce Song” and “Fuck and Run” by Liz Phair. “Live Until I Die” by Frank Sinatra.

Sport to Watch: Baseball at Wrigley Field.

Sports Team: CUBBIES!

TV Channel: TLC, Fox, Discovery, Animal Planet, HBO

TV Show: Greg the Bunny

Vegetable: Broccoli

Habits: Procrastination and smoking. I never procrastinate ABOUT smoking though.

Piercings: No more piercings. At one point in college I had three earrings though.

Special Skills/Talents: Improv.

Tattoos: I have a gecko on my ankle. It’s because I am the Lizard King! Or maybe because I’m a pussy.

Coke/Pepsi: Only with rum or vodka in it. If it’s straight, gimme root beer.

Day/Night: Night.

Diamonds/Pearls: Um, I’d look queer in pearls.

Flowers/Candy/Poem: Candy! You get energy from it! Yay!

Gold/Silver: Silver

Haagen Daaz/Ben&Jerry’s: Ben and Jerry’s

McD’s/Burger King: They both suckass. Clark Dog, bayBEE!

Smiling/Laughing: Laughing.

Best Love Relationship: I haven’t really had one I would classify as “best”. I’ve had some great romantic relationships, but those usually aren’t “love”.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn’t before.

Do you have a crush on a school mate/coworker? Nobody attractive works in IT.

Do you want children one day & if so, how many? I would like to have one more, with someone I really truly love.

If You Could…

Be any animal, what would you be?: The kind who doesn’t have to take stupid quizzes.

Dye your hair any color, it would be: I wish I had the balls to bleach my hair.

Have a special power, what would it be?: Time travel.

Have a tattoo, what would it be?: I had ideas for additional tattoos for a while…but no more tattoos for me. At least as long as I’m pretending to be

Jewish.

Invent something what would it be?: Bagel cereal.

Coolest Ex: Caroline (she wasn’t very cool about being an ex, but she’s the coolest girl I’ve ever dated.)

Criminal Record: I got caught shoplifting a Transformer from Venture when I was 8 years old.

Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork?: If you give me one, I will. I don’t like getting crap on my hands.

Do you ever write your name with the last name of your crush?: What kind of a pussy would take his wife’s name?

Do you gossip?: I try not too. However…

Do you save AOL conversations?: I love the fact that YIM can archive. But that’s just for Real Worlding anyway.

Do you speak any other languages?: I can communicate with Dallas. Does that count?

Have you ever been attacked by a big dog?: My friend’s Doberman bit my arm when I was 6.

How do you eat an Oreo?: Dunked in milk.

If you couldn’t do your dream job/career, what would be second best?: Owning my own bar.

Name some of the fav. things in your bedroom: The kippuh that Evin and Noah gave me at their wedding. My movie posters. All the film equipment I’m storing in

there.

Things you hate about yourself the most: I’m not as self-confident as I’d like to be. And I think I have a bad smile.

Things you like about yourself the most: I can see “the big picture”. That’s why I’m a director :)

Things you look forward to: I look forward to the first time I say “Action!” on DWG…to seeing the finished film…and to seeing a certain someone in two

days.

This makes me cry: When I realize I did something stupid and there’s nothing I can do about it now.

What is the color of your room?: Off-white.

How big is your bed?: Full. I used to have a king-sized waterbed, but it would literally have taken up my entire room.

Do you have personal pictures on the walls?: My walls have movie still and movie posters.

Did your parents let you pick out the colors?: Why would they? They’ve never even been to my apartment :)

Do you have magazine clippings taped to your walls?: Nope.

How many windows are in your room?: One.

Do you share your room with anyone else?: My room is just mine. But I have two roommates living in the same apartment.

What kind of atmosphere does your room have? Small and confined. Sometimes that’s nice though. Like how cats like to sit in little boxes.

Is your room where you spend most of your time?: Not really. Usually in the living room.

What’s your favorite thing about your room?: It has a door. Plus, it’s the warmest room in the house in winter, and the coolest in the summer.

What’s under your bed?: I shudder to think.

Do you have a desk in your room?: Yes, but it’s mostly serving bookcase duty right now. My main desk is in our frontroom.

Do you always do your homework on that desk?: I don’t have homework :)

Do you have a phone in your room? I do, but it’s not plugged into anything.

What color is your phone?: Black.

Do you have stuffed animals in your room?: I have a stuffed Tivo mascot.

What color is your carpet?: Hardwood floors, but I have a small rug.

Do you have a mirror in your room?: Nope.

What do you dislike about your room?: The fact that it’s in a massive state of disarray, and I have only two days to clean it.

What do you think of the way you look?: I think my face is too fat.

What do you think about your attitude?: I happen to like my attitude. Usually.

What do you think about life after death?: I don’t think it’s something we are meant to comprehend.

What do you think about fate?: Some things happen too conviently to be coincidence.

What do you think about yourself?: I’m a rockstar.

What would you give your life for?: My boy.

Family

Parents names: Phyllis and William (they’ve been divorced since I was two, and both remarried to John and Jeri, respectively)

Do you live with both of them?: I used to live with my mom.

Any siblings?: Larissa, Noah, Becky, Debbie, and Kaitlyn.

Do you get along with your parents?: I get along with my mom. My father has pretty much disowned me. This bugs me more for Christopher’s sake than mine. My

stepfather and I get along a lot better than we used to.

Do you…

Do you write in a journal or diary?: I write in LJ every couple days.

Do you keep an organizer?: Just my Outlook calendar.

Do you believe that every person has one soul mate?: I think we all have a few…just due to the laws of probability.

Do you believe in God?: Yes. But it’s complicated :)

Do you believe in everyone (even the beyond helpless)?: I think everyone is a lot better than we give them credit for. Or that they give themselves credit

for. Some people I cannot believe in. No matter how open minded I try to be, I still carry deep personal hate for Adolf Hitler, or anyone else who deals in

hate and intolerance.

Do you believe in horoscopes?: Not a whit.

Do you believe in yourself?: Ususally.

Do you cry easily?: I cry at stupid stuff. Not because I’m upset, but usually certain movies can make me watery.

Do you believe in Heaven?: Not as the typical construct.

Do you believe in hell?: Yes. It’s called Los Angeles.

Do you believe in reincarnation?: In a Transcendentalist kind of way.

Can you walk around your house @ night with the lights off and not run into anything? I run into things even when the lights are ON.

Ever taken your frustration/bad mood out on others? Sadly, yes.

Ever had a huge argument and then realized that you were wrong? I am never wrong.

Ever left things the way they were just because it would be harder to resolve it? Indeed.

Ever thought someone was “hopeless?” Not hopeless. But definitely beyond my powers.

Ever dropped your toothbrush in the toilet? Nope.

Have you ever dropped something in the toilet that you HAD to retrieve? I dropped my glasses in once. And once a contact lens, but I did *not* retrieve it.

Ever driven off from the gas station without closing the gas thing? I doubt it.

Can you sleep better @ night or during the day? During the day, actually.

Do you print out pictures of celebrities/musicians off of the Internet? Only if they’re naked. And in a vat of pudding.

Do you remember the Lisa Frank phase? Not a whit.

Is your favourite colour evident by the clothes you wear? when I’m paying attention.

Coats and sweaters or tank tops and bathing suits? Coats. I like having pockets.

Do you think everyone should have a significant other during the winter months? Why? To hibernate with? It’s good for a warmth thing.

Is there a movie that you can really relate to? High Fidelity. A lot. And Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.

Ever found lyrics to a song that almost exactly describes you? I’m sure I have.

Ever go to a “”place of business”” so often that costumers think you work there? Back when I wore khakis and denim shirts, people used to think I worked at

Best Buy.

Would you go to a strip club to watch members of the opposite sex? Same sex? I will admit I have visited a titty bar or two in my time. Never seen a man

strip. Not for any reason other than I haven’t had a reason.

What do you think of guys who dress in drag? Depends on who’s doing it :)

Do you look @ people in the car next to you at the stoplight? Always.

Ever said a word so many times in a row that it didn’t even sound like a word anymore? Constantly.

Was there a book series you read growing up? I read everything. Seriously. My parents would punish me by grounding me from reading.

Do you write letters on notebook paper, stationary, computer paper, other, or all? I don’t write letters anymore. This is kind of sad.

Where do your wet towels end up after your shower/bath? That’s what the floor is FOR!

Do you have a subscription to anything? EW, Time, Stuff, Ad-Astra, Gear

Do you get more friend mail, business mail, or junk mail? Business mail and bills.

Ever slept nude? Not usually by myself :)

Ever walked around your house nude? Not anymore. When I didn’t have roommates, well, that was a different story…

Anyone ever accidentally see you naked? I don’t think so. Want to?

Ever been in the middle of a sexual act and actually Felt The Heat between the two of you? Yes, but that was because the electic blanket got in the way.

Are you able to act? I like to think so.

Can you give public speeches without freaking out? Certainly.

Ever find humor in a part of a movie that no one else does? It’s not unheard of.

What do you spend most of your money on? Toys. And now, DWG.

What do you waste most of your money on? DVD’s and taxis.

Can you like the lyrics without liking the song? I think so.

Can you like the song without understanding the lyrics? Depends on the song. Techno? Sure. But there’s not much lyrically to techno anyway.

Are accents a turn on? English accents really rev my motor.

Do you dream more good then bad? usually good…but I typically am more likely to remember the bad.

Tapes or cd’s? CD’s. I don’t have a tape deck anymore. But I have boxes and boxes of cassettes.

Movies or TV series? Movies. However, sometimes a TV series is shot/treated like a film…and then I like it a lot. Like the X-Files.

Ever regret expressing your love? A long time ago.

Do you think some things should be left unsaid? Sometimes not knowing everything is a goodness.

Do you stand up for yourself? If it’s worth the energy.

Do you stand up for others? Yes.

MY HAIR: Is really poofy today

MY MAKEUP: I swear, this is a quiz for a girl

MY OBSESSION: Finishing…this…film…

MY MOST ATTRACTIVE FEATURE: From what I hear, my eyes. Someone complimented my hands the other night though…

MY FAVORITE THING TO DO: Obsess about movies

I’M EATING: I just finished eating some orange slices candy

I’M DRINKING: Nothing

I’M LISTENING TO: The hum of the hard drive on my laptop

I’M FEELING: About ready to go home

I’M THINKING: That I want to go home

I SEE: My pager, my monitor, my kung-fu hamster…

I FIND: That surveys are lame

I WANT: Miramax to buy DWG

I HAVE: Too much shit to do.

I WISH: That Jess lived in Chicago

I LOVE: Greg the Bunny

I HATE: Carrot Top and all other prop comics

I FEAR: GE screwing me out of my bonuses

I SMELL: like cigarettes and orange candy

I WONDER: if anyone will notice if I leave 30 minutes early.

I REGRET: Many stupid things I’ve done with my money.

Do you normally (more often than not):

Bathe in the morning or at night? I shower in the morning…but in the summer, I tend to shower at night too.

Converse or participate in awkward silence? I listen.

Talk or listen? See above.

Dress up or dress down? I like to dress up. I love my tuxedo.

Stay up late or get to bed early? Stay up late. Way too late. To the point of stupidity.

Get what you want or get what you deserve? I tend to get what I want, not what I deserve.

Get attention or give your attention? I give attention a lot…but I also need it.

Stand out or blend in? I usually am a blender.

Listen to music or watch tv? More TV than music.

Win or lose? I win! I win! I don’t lose, I WIN!

Smile or cry? Smile.

Get up early enough to see the sunrise? What’s a sunrise?

Sing it or hum it? Hum. Unless nobody is listening. Including myself.

Style your hair or just whatever? I do a gel thing.

Call or get called? It call more than I get called I think.

Visit or have people over? A little from Column A, little from Column B.

Eat or skip breakfast? I usually don’t on the weekdays.

Make a meal or go out for one? I go out. Way too much. Or order in. Way too much.

Drive or get driven? I drive now, baby…but for three years, I was driven.

Do what you had planned? I tend to change plans. But I like to have them.

Attend or skip class/work? I “work from home” a lot.

Act like yourself or act appropriately? I try to act appropriately. Doesn’t always work though.

Help others or help yourself? I try to help my friends.

Eat what’s good for you or eat what’s tastes good? What tastes good. No question.

Turn it up or just get closer? Turn it UP! Sweet home, Alabama…

Start it or finish it? Finish it. Must finish!

Stay bored or get things done? I’m all about staying bored.

Apologize or be stubborn? I am never too stubborn to apologize if I was wrong.

Pay for yourself or get paid for? I like to pay. It’s like giving a gift.

Lean in first or wait for them to make a move? I never lean in soon enough.

Get rejected or never ask? Never ask.

Try your hardest or hard enough? My hardest.

Talk it through or ignore it as much as you can? Sadly, I ignore more than I should. But when it’s hit a point…it’s time to talk.

Know or think? Think. Too much thinking.

Trust or suspect? Suspect. But I’m trying to be the shepard, Ringo


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